from one shoe lover to another.

My love for fashion has helped me make so many new friends. While I was at Western I met a sweet and wise lady named Lori. She is the most caring and open-minded person I have met on my journey - she lets everybody and anybody into her life. She gives phenomenal advice about both life and shoes (she has a shoe addiction - admitting you have a problem is the first step), so I asked her to share some of her wisdom with the wildflower life community. Her advice and guidance helped me so much this year, and I know these tips will stay with me for the rest of my life. Thank you for being an amazing human being Lori.

During a conversation about love and marriage, someone once asked me if I believed in soul mates. My answer: absolutely. But I think the mainstream concept is all wrong. I think we have many soul mates in our lifetime. They are those special people who come in our lives and leave deep marks on us for the better. And if we’re lucky, we choose one of them to become our life partner in marriage.

We have this tendency to believe that in order to make a difference in this world we have to do something huge or profound. That’s crap. The best influence we can have on this world is to do small, simple acts of kindness every day. Maybe it’s not an earth shattering difference for humanity, but that doesn’t mean we should ever discount the impact it will have on another person’s life.

Hugs are good for the soul. Give and receive as many as possible. Also, don’t be stingy with “I love you”, “please and thank you”, or compliments.

This is cliché, but I have so many conversations with people that just need to believe in themselves. Really, if you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else? This often comes from another issue: Don’t be so hard on yourself! Learning to love ourselves and accept us, the good and the bad, is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Confidence in, and acceptance of, who you are will lead you to make better choices about so many things in your life – ranging from jobs, friends, education, love… EVERYTHING!!!

Do not EVER be afraid to say “no”. This applies to so many situations.  Decide where your moral and ethical compass lands, and stick to your guns. Also, realize that everyone is guided by a different compass. This doesn’t mean you should judge them for it. If it doesn’t fall in line with yours, it’s totally ok to just live and let live (as long as nobody is getting hurt).

The best thing I have ever done in my lifetime is learn how to love without judgment. We waste so much time focusing negative energy on our differences. Who am I to deny someone love or friendship based on religion, politics, skin color, sexuality, or anything else that makes up their being? Who cares? I would have missed out on some amazing people if I hadn’t learned how to appreciate diversity and love despite it.

- Lori Paulson