a love letter.

Photo cred: Jewell Ann Riley

            The last love letter I received was in the back of my seventh grade yearbook. The word "especially" was spelled wrong, and the author signed the letter with a poorly drawn heart. During those junior high years, I thought that forever was stopping by his locker before heading off to the buses. As I have grown up, my view on love has shifted. Although I have experienced the stereotypical, adult version of love, what amazes me is the other ways that I have come to understand this four-letter word. 

            Throughout high school my white Nike soccer cleats and a long-haired boy were all I thought I needed in the world. My dreams of being a college athlete crumbled, the long-haired boy cut his hair, and I moved onto the next chapter of my life. I began to love in more ways than I could have imagined. The pride I got from being the first person from my hometown to start a fashion blog, the joy I got from being able to be a positive impact on my teens at the Boys and Girls Club each day, and the friendships that I have kept and gained over the years have redefined my definition of love. Love always causes pain; this I have learned from experience. Learning that your heart strings can be ripped out by having to move from the house you called home for so long, having money be a bigger factor in your life than you want it to be, and never feeling good enough for the boy from the city that never sleeps have hurt, but I am stronger for having loved. 

            Moving on with voids in my heart has been a constant throughout my life. The past couple of years have been endless circles of hellos and goodbyes. Although I have met people who I thought would be in my life for the long run, there have been many detours.  Everyone is always looking toward the next chapter and worried that they cannot see you in it. After learning that nice boys aren’t really that nice and that my grandma isn’t the best matchmaker, I have come up with my own idea on finding something deeper than puppy love during these formative years. 

            Whether or not the person stays in your life for a year or one week, remember that you learn something from your experience. Whatever it is you gain, practical knowledge is something we can’t buy in a book or learn in a class. So there might not be a diamond ring at the end of very relationship, but how can you know for sure that you met your soul mate if you still think you want the exact replica of your high school football crush? Love and love hard because your heart can take it. 

            Instead of wishing someone else had written my seventh grade love letter, I’m going to reread it with a bag of marshmallows and know that good things come to people who wait.