finding my place.

After four years of meetings, papers, and filling my little pink planner full of homework assignments, my life felt duller with less purpose. Somehow I have lost myself throughout my years of being so consumed with my education. When it was over I couldn’t find myself or the goals that I once obsessed over. I started wanting things I swore I never would.

Your twenties have a funny way of making you feel you should have a million dollars and a career on the rise. But honestly the only thing I’ve achieved is learning how to cook spaghetti. Without a sense of purpose I felt as though I fell off my path. Finding it difficult to decipher what the “right” decision to make next was. Comparing myself to friends and family with milestones I wished to achieve as well.

I want everything this instant, an exceptional career, a closet that can fit all my clothes, and a billion and one trips around the world with the man I love. But on a weekday at 1 a.m., comparing my life to the insanely perfect fashion bloggers, on my insta feed. I realized it’s going to take some work and years to get there. That comparing myself to everyone around me wasn’t going to get me to where I need to be or bring light to my gloomy mindset.

Trying to realize that life is not a race, as cliché as that sounds. That I need to enjoy night after night of frozen pizza and a life without cable. I want an adventurous, unusual, exhilarating life. But I also want a normal, traditional, quiet life as well. Knowing now that although they seem like polar opposites, I can have them and want them both.

I don’t know much about life being a twenty something and all, but what I do know is, there isn’t a finish line, deadline, or first place trophy for getting through life’s milestones the fastest. Nor is there a right or wrong way of achieving these milestones. So I am going to sit here searching for jobs for another hour, as I watch another season of Project Runway, and love the possibilities that life is bringing my way.  

My little blog has been through everything and I love to think of it as my little corner of the World Wide Web. So although there are many other inspiring life blogs out there I appreciate everyone who takes a little time out of their life to read about mine.

Wishing you a bottle of wine and the energy to get you to Friday night.