pressing play.

            Recently I have had an internal battle between my brain and my heart. For the past few years moving to a big city pursuing my passion was the biggest motivation to get me through my years of schooling. Always trying to do extra to make sure that my dream is absolutely possible when I graduate. Recently the universe has aligned in my favor. I’m ending the school year by earning a scholarship for next year, an award from my department, and an internship for the summer with the JTA group who produces Colorado Fashion Week. For weeks I was cautious always wondering if karma was going to come and snatch all the things I have worked so hard for away from me. Because who gets everything they want in such a short amount of time?

            This summer with the help of my Dad I am moving to Boulder for my internship. Although my dreams are much bigger than RS, there are so may absolutely wonderful things that my town has given me. Adventures with my dad, an endless food supply supported by my grandparents, friends that have been by my side no matter what, and an aching to do more. Growing up is such a weird feeling. Especially when it is happening right before your eyes and you don’t realize it. The people who have grown with me through the years of junior high awkwardness, high school sports trips, and western nonsense are graduating in a year. Talking about the future has become our favorite hobby without realizing that it’s about to become the present. Our lives are taking gigantic steps into joining the real adult world without our permission.

            So in order to take in my current endeavors I need to let go of the ones holding me back. The forgotten dreams of my younger youth years have become a safety net for me. Understanding that along with my dreams my friends have some of their own. No longer can I desperately try to hold onto traditions and sleep overs that once consumed me. I must let my friendships mature with me.

            Summers in Wyoming are hands down the best thing in life. Lake days, family bbq’s, and bonfires make anyone’s summer complete. I think that’s the most difficult part to let go, knowing that there are memories that will get created without me. But I know that although the safety that Wyoming provides me is comforting, I need to indulge in all things that life has to offer. I need to break the bond and move on. 

            I can no longer look at my window and lust for skyscrapers and taxicabs, but go out and do. I need to start looking at this summer as the summer of newness and opportunity. Taking in all of the opportunities that are going to come my way. While my heart thought it had pressed pause, life has continued to play. If I don’t start dancing to the beat I might just miss the whole song.